Among the most striking qualities of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) — a man who led armies, governed a community, and received divine revelation — was his tenderness toward children. The narrations from the Companions describe a man who would interrupt his prayer to respond to a crying child, who would pick up grandchildren during his khutbah, who would race with young people, and who treated the children around him with a gentleness and attentiveness that his Companions noted and remembered.
For Muslim parents, this is not a peripheral detail. The Quran identifies the Prophet (peace be upon him) as the best example:
لَّقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِى رَسُولِ ٱللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِّمَن كَانَ يَرْجُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَٱلْيَوْمَ ٱلْءَاخِرَ وَذَكَرَ ٱللَّهَ كَثِيرًا
Al-Ahzab 33:21 — "Certainly you have in the Apostle of Allah an excellent exemplar for him who hopes in Allah and the latter day and remembers Allah much."
And He describes the Prophet (peace be upon him) directly:
وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ
Al-Qalam 68:4 — "And most surely you conform to sublime morality."
If the Prophet (peace be upon him) is on sublime morality, and his morality included a profound gentleness toward children, then that gentleness is part of what Muslim parents are being asked to emulate.
He was sent as mercy to the worlds
وَمَآ أَرْسَلْنَٰكَ إِلَّا رَحْمَةً لِّلْعَٰلَمِينَ
Al-Anbiya 21:107 — "And We have not sent you but as a mercy to the worlds."
Mercy (rahmah) is the defining quality of the Prophet’s mission. And his mercy extended fully to children. The narrations in Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim give us a vivid picture of how that mercy expressed itself.
What the Hadith narrate about the Prophet and children
He carried children and played with them. The Prophet (peace be upon him) would carry his grandsons Al-Hasan and Al-Husayn (may Allah be pleased with them) on his shoulders and on his back. He would come into the masjid while they were on him. Narrated in Sahih Bukhari. There was no sense of this being undignified. In the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) understanding, the dignity of leadership was entirely compatible with being a grandfather who played with small children.
He shortened the prayer when he heard a child cry. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said (narrated in Sahih Bukhari): “I begin the prayer intending to prolong it, then I hear a child crying and I shorten it, knowing the distress his mother feels.” The acknowledgment here is remarkable: he was aware of the mother’s distress, he changed his behaviour accordingly, and he explained why. The sensitivity is not only to the child but to the parent.
He greeted children with salaam. It is narrated in Sahih Bukhari that the Prophet (peace be upon him) passed by children and greeted them with salaam. This seems simple, but its implications are significant: greeting a child with salaam treats them as a full human being worthy of the Islamic greeting, not a small person to be indulged or dismissed. The practice of greeting children as one would greet adults is a prophetic practice that communicates dignity and belonging.
He showed affection openly. When Al-Aqra ibn Habis saw the Prophet (peace be upon him) kiss his granddaughter, he said: “I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied (narrated in Sahih Bukhari): “What can I do if Allah has taken mercy from your heart?” The Prophet (peace be upon him) identified the withholding of affection as a removal of mercy — not a virtue, not a toughening measure, but a lack. Physical affection toward children is Sunnah.
He remembered children’s names and used them. The narrations show the Prophet (peace be upon him) calling children by name, addressing them directly, and giving them his full attention in conversation. Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him), who served the Prophet (peace be upon him) from childhood, narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) never once scolded him, never said “why did you do this” or “why did you not do that.” Narrated in Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim.
He raced with children. He is narrated in Sahih Bukhari to have raced with Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) and allowed her to beat him when she was young, and raced her again when she was older and beat her himself, teasing her that this evened the score. The Prophet (peace be upon him) played. He competed. He laughed. He had a relationship with the young people around him that was characterised by warmth, not just instruction.
What this means for Muslim parents
The Prophetic model of relating to children challenges several cultural assumptions that sometimes creep into Muslim parenting:
That sternness is more Islamic than warmth. The evidence does not support this. The Quran explicitly connects the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) gentleness with his success in calling people to Islam:
فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ ٱللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ ٱلْقَلْبِ لَٱنفَضُّوا۟ مِنْ حَوْلِكَ
Al-Imran 3:159 — "Thus it is due to mercy from Allah that you deal with them gently, and had you been rough and hard-hearted, they would certainly have dispersed from around you."
Harshness drives people away. Gentleness, rooted in mercy from Allah, draws them near. This is a parenting principle with divine authority: a parent who relates to their child harshly — who makes Islam associated with fear, with criticism, with coldness — risks their child dispersing from Islam as people dispersed from harshness. A parent who models the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) warmth creates the conditions for their child to stay.
That physical affection is unimportant or Western. The Prophet (peace be upon him) kissed children, held them, carried them on his back. Physical affection is Sunnah. The Companion who boasted of never kissing his children was corrected, not praised.
That children are not yet serious enough for real Islamic engagement. The Prophet (peace be upon him) greeted children with salaam, used their names, gave them his full attention. He told the young Companion Abdullah ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them): “Young man, I will teach you some words.” And then taught him profound lessons about tawakkul and the nature of harm and benefit. He addressed children as people capable of receiving real wisdom.
The inheritance of the Sunnah in parenting
Every Muslim parent is the heir of the Prophetic model. This inheritance includes not only what the Prophet (peace be upon him) taught in theology and law but how he lived — the texture of his daily interactions, the quality of his presence, the warmth and attentiveness he gave to the small people around him.
A parent who takes that inheritance seriously will find that much of what the Sunnah commends in relating to children is also what developmental science recommends for secure attachment, intrinsic motivation, and emotional health. The wisdom was there from the beginning, embodied in the man who was sent as a mercy to all the worlds — including the youngest and most vulnerable among them.
